Last chance to be worthy

That nagging "not so good" feeling puzzling you as you park your SUV, pack your 3 items of groceries in 3 plastic bags, eat your factory-farmed cruelty-heavy chicken from KFC? White liberal guilt got you down? Survivor guilt? Catholic, Jewish, secular humanist or lapsed Buddhist guilt? Wake up feeling irrelevant? A cog in the machine? A tool for the man?

ARE YOU JUST NOT WORTHY?

I CAN HELP!

yes folks, this is your last chance to do something real. Redeem yourself brothers and sisters, so that at the final gasp, when god or the guy at the crossroads or whoever does the last weighing, you'll have that one extra chip that knocks the scales towards heavenly redemption and glory.....

THIS IS your last chance to donate to my Komen Race for the Cure. And you KNOW whut cure I be talkin bout.

So, brethren and sestren, here's what I need you to do.
Go here, and click on "make a gift".

THEN: (and here is the important part)
GIVE MONEY, bucks, the long green, the elusive sponduliks, the filthy lucre.

Then:
sit back, relax, and enjoy that guilt free feeling....



(repeat as necessary...)

P.S. Those who have already entered the ranks of the saved need not give again. unless they want to...