dread, drugs and docs

I got Zanax, for nerves and Ambien, for sleep. I have been waking up at about 3 a.m. and then having tiny anxiety attacks about little things like death and disease which cause me not to be able to go back to sleep for a couple hours. When I have to get up early for work, this is NOT cool.

Having been raised by a christian scientist for whom even asprin was "error" or "mortal mind" (those not familiar with CSspeak can just substitute the words "devil" or "evil" there), I am, even though a product of the punk generation, not used to popping pills. NO. you grin and bear whatever you are bearing. Actually, for a lot of minor things, this approach is healthier than reaching for a pill.

But, man...when my SLEEP gets messed up...
i'll take the freakin drugs.


Today bone scan day. Oh jolly. It is hard not to fear this...

***
Later:
I had the scone ban (bone scan). It wasn't so bad. I walked to the hospital which took about an hour, so I wasn't all keyed up when I got there. Then, I was injected with radioactive dye and told not to interact with babies or pregnant women. Uh...NOT A PROBLEM...i tend to avoid the drooling class if I can possibly do so...(heh, just joking. I've got nothing against babies...i'm sure they are wonderfully tasty...)

Anyway then we came home for 3 hours during which time I took a zanax. Then back to the hosp. The bone scan is not bad at all. I'm claustrophobic and this was a breeze. it consists of a table, and a large toroid which the table passes thru, much as a magician passes a hoop around the sleeping figure of a levitated woman to prove that she has no strings attached.

The toroid also has a big flat area attached, which is the camera. Although it starts off pretty close to your face, it is moving the whole time, and you can see out the sides, so I had no claustrophobia at all. (perhaps the zanax helped...?). But no, it's not the type of thing that triggers my claustrophobia, like closets and airplanes.

I lay there and amused myself by thinking of star trek and trying to estimate the speed of the toroid. I came to the conclusion that it was moving about 2 inches per minute, which Gareth later confirmed (he watched it). Estimating moving speeds is very comforting to me. Movement is comforting to me. (Must be my aspergian/autistic tendencies...).

When it was over, I looked like this:



or maybe it was more like this: